So for the past week and a half, I've had the worst pain in
my neck. Literally. It’s a tightness on my right side, that turned into the
feeling of a ligament being crushed. I think it all started from sleeping
wrong, but as the time has progressed I think it’s also stress induced. A
friend of mine recently told me, as many friends have thought for years, I’m
sure, but she told me I am really hard on myself. I even asked her to repeat
herself when she said it. LOL.
Truth is, I don’t think I’m hard on myself. But my heart is
deceitful and desperately sick [Jeremiah 17:9] so I know not to trust it. So
counter-cultural isn't it? The fact that the Lord says that our hearts are
deceitful, and our culture tells us to do what our hearts say, “is this guy
right for me?” “Listen to your heart.” But, as many, many Lifetime movies will
show you, your heart often lies to you! Tori Spelling in “Mother may I sleep
with Danger” comes to mind. LOL. My mom was a Lifetime junky okay, don’t
judge! LOL
My heart tells me I’m not hard on myself. It also tells me I
am doing nothing wrong before my Holy God. It tells me to indulge in sin and to
live it up, cause you only live once! It says to eat, drink, and be merry. My
Spirit says, stop. It tells me that whether I eat or drink, do all things to
the glory of God. [1 Corinthians 10:31] This morning I was enjoying some peace
and quiet, which in a full time students life is a RARE event, however it was
quite exquisite and peaceful, thank you Jesus!!
Anyway, I got to read 1 John, and I am very particular about
John. I love him more than any other writer in Scripture. And it’s not so much
him as a person, just his words, his faith. I suppose those are things that
make him, him, so yeah I guess it’s him I like. LOL. I am very partial to Johannine
literature and I was reading in 1 John 3 and I got to verse 6 and I’ve been
meditating on this all morning! “No
one who abides in Him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either
seen Him or known Him.”
For years I’ve been saying how convicted I am with my life,
because if I really knew Jesus and I really encountered Him when I meet with
Him my life would look different! I’d be transformed! I wouldn’t cling to
habitual sin like I do! This passage just hits my heart like none other. I
know, and YOU know were not called to perfection or to be completely without
sin. Only God is, and that’s not what we’re meant to be. However, I have
struggled with habitual sin for years now and I get the sneaky suspicion that
when He said “it is finished” He meant it for you and me, about ALL sin, not
some sin, or most sin, but ALL sin!
How do we die to ourselves, take up our cross and follow
Him? [Mark 8:34] by doing exactly what this verse says! We must abide in Him if
we want to see sin put to death in us! It reminds me of coming home, after
being away for a while. The saying, “there’s no place like home” is true. Long
before a little braided girl in ruby slippers clicked her heels three times,
the Lord had already put eternity in the hearts of men. He created us to have a
longing for Him, a craving and yearning that only His Spirit could fill. Until
we reach the heavenly throne room where we stand before our King, our homes are
meant to be in Him now. We are made to abide in our abode, Jesus Christ. How do
you know Him and what He wants of your life, unless you encounter Him and obey
Him?
We can’t put to death the sins we chose to abide in, instead
of Him, unless we’re willing to let Him kill them. His Spirit empowers us to
conquer, but do not be mistaken, even though we’re to be victorious over sin,
we don’t do it on our own power, thus my friend’s observation of me being too
hard on myself was so true and convicting. I get stressed and weary when I go
at it on my own strength, when I think “I should be better by now! I should
have changed this a long time ago! I know better!”
And my King says, I should worry about nothing, and consider
the lilies and the sparrows, cause they neither toil nor work, yet He takes
care of them. In fact He even says, I am worth more than many sparrows. That I
am to neither fear, nor worry, because He’s got this. “Why even the hairs on
your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many
sparrows.” –Luke 12:7…. SIGH… Not even the best lover could know you so
intimately!
He knows me. He knows you. And even when we know better, in
the face of sin, our Daddy’s got this! He took it so I wouldn’t have to burden
myself with it. So I wouldn’t have to strive so hard to defeat it on my own
power and will. What an amazing God we serve! I’m called to abide in Him, to
keep me from sin, to meditate on Him, to make Him my all, my hopes, my dreams,
my everything, and He’s got the rest. I can’t wait to see Him and have those
deep convos we gals like to have with our guy. Where you sit for hours and time
flies and you learn more and more about him.
Only in this situation, He’ll already know every deep and
intimate detail, and He’ll listen as you speak it and He’ll care deeply about
it! I wonder if He’ll have an answer when I ask Him if He has to recount the
hairs on my head, when I pluck those two stubborn white hairs that grow on my
left side. I’m sure He will! He knows me better than I do, and surprisingly,
loves me anyway!
I am loved. You are loved. We are loved, by the King of
Kings, and Lord of Lords. Hears every prayer, every need, every care of this
world, and still makes time to encounter a broken girl reaching for the hem of
His cloak.
WHAT A MIGHTY KING!
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